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This morning, I want to address the issue of biblical fatherhood, and I'm doing so because today we are launching a new ministry in our church called Fathers in the Field. We are collaborating with a very well established and successful ministry "Fathers in the Field: healing the wounds of fatherhood and abandonment." In fact, they state on their website, "The great American rescue mission enabling fatherless boys through the provision of godly mentoring fathers and outdoor activities." They add this, "Fathers in the Field works to achieve three important goals. Number one, faith: demonstrate to boys that they have a Father in heaven who created loves and cares for them and will never forsake them. Secondly, fatherhood: demonstrate fatherly love and commitment to repair broken spirits and prepare the foundation for future fatherhood and finally, number three, forgiveness: share the need for boys to forgive the failings of their earthly fathers as our Heavenly Father forgives his children in Christ." I am very well acquainted with the great difficulties that fatherless boys endure; those that have no father, who will love their mother and who will care for them. In fact, the statistics tell us that 85% of incarcerated youth come from fatherless homes. 70% of long-term prison inmates grew up in fatherless homes. The ministry founder John Smith Baker says this quote, "This is an epidemic in America. Fatherlessness is the number one societal issue that is decimating the family and tearing at the very fabric of America."

He went on to add that, "50% of America's children, over 25 million kids under 18 years of age, are growing up in homes without their fathers. They live in every community and within reach of every church. That means more than 12 million boys are growing up in fatherless homes in our nation, many of them carrying deep, damaging wounds of abandonment that threatens them and society. This is more than just one of many social problems we face. It is an epidemic that is growing exponentially with each generation." And finally, he adds this, "But God made you and I, for a time like this. America and her family is pleading to be rescued. She is worth preserving and defending. The issue is solvable and right before us, directly within the reach and responsibility of the local Christian church by intentionally and proactively," quote, "defending the cause of the fatherless" (a reference found in Isaiah, chapter one and verse 17).

And certainly, this is our goal here at Calvary Bible Church as we launch this ministry today. I think you all would agree with me that radical feminism and the LGBTQ perversions that we see in our country and other forms of woke ideology are combined in such a way as to systematically destroy the family unit, especially attacking fatherhood. All you have to do is look around in our culture and you will see the feminizing of the American male. They attack what they call toxic masculinity, which is gradually turning American males into pusillanimous, effeminate, low testosterone sissy boys. So often today, you look at some of these young men and you don't know if they're a boy or a girl, and they act as if they don't know, and they really don't. It is so sad. Clueless young men who have no idea how to be a man. They have no idea how to be a godly man who can lead and protect and provide for his family, physically, emotionally, much less spiritually. This also results in frustrated females who long for such a man but are afraid to admit it and can't find one when they look for one. This is a crisis in America. I'm reminded of what God told ancient Israel in Exodus 34:6, he says,

"'The LORD, the LORD God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in loving kindness and truth,;

“who keeps loving kindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgressions and sin; yet He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished, visiting the iniquity of fathers on the children and on the grandchildren to the third and fourth generations.'"

By the way, this does not mean that sons are held responsible for the sins of their fathers. Ezekiel 18 and Jeremiah 31 address that issue, but it does mean that the wickedness of fathers and the failure of fathers in leadership in the family, and in the community, will have an impact on future generations, and that's what we're seeing in our society today.

So today I want to address the issue of biblical fatherhood from a biblical perspective, there are six kinds of fathers that I have seen over the 40 years of ministry, especially in the realm of counseling. The first is the atheist father. He believes essentially that God does not exist, and if he does, he's not really interested in whoever he or she might be. This is what the Bible calls a fool, a man ruled by his lusts. He will typically be immoral, self-will, spiritually dead. He's at enmity with God. He suppresses the truth of the reality of who God is. He is utterly indifferent, even hostile towards Biblical Christianity, and his children are raised in just a godless, pagan environment.

The second type of man that I have experienced is what I would call the absent father. This is a man who may be alive, but he's not in the home because of divorce, because of abandonment, because of imprisonment, basically there's no involvement there in the home.

The third type of father that I've experienced is the aloof father. This is the distant, detached, disinterested, unapproachable father, he's emotionally, physically, spiritually, just not involved; shows no feelings or sensitivity to the needs of others. A tragic thing. Typically, self-absorbed and unable, unwilling, to enter into any kind of meaningful dialog, especially with his family. He abhors emotional vulnerability. You might say the lights are on, but nobody's home. A lot of people have been raised - maybe you have been raised in that kind of a home.

A fourth kind of home is the abusive father. This is the narcissistic, habitually violent, insulting man. He's rude, he's arrogant, belittling, cruel. He's a blame shifter. He loves to humiliate. He loves to insult and yell and call people names and to gaslight those in his family. That is to deny the reality of what that person is experiencing and make them think that their memory isn't right and maybe they're losing their mind. This is a man that's constantly making threats. He's intimidating, he's controlling, and more often than not, he is physically, sexually, emotionally abusive.

And then fifthly, there is the attentive father. These men are rare. This would be a father that is kind and observant and considerate, shows concern for his family, shows care for them. He's involved in the lives of the family. He's vigilant to protect them and to provide for them, but in many cases, that attentive father really knows nothing of the things of God, and spiritually, he's not involved with them.

And then finally, there is the authentic father. This is extremely rare. This is the godly father, the one who knows Christ, who loves Christ, who obeys Christ, who walks by the Spirit, not by the flesh. This is a man that will love his wife as Christ loves the church. This is a man dedicated to helping his children be disciplined and raised in the discipline and instruction of the Lord and this kind of man is described in various ways in the book of Proverbs. And I want to take you there for a little bit and look at several passages as we see the authentic the godly father give counsel to his son.

Now, as we look at Proverbs, we can see very quickly that it is God's handbook for fathers. Dads, I want you to remember this, and by the way, I'm speaking primarily to fathers and how they train their sons. That's not to eliminate the importance of them dealing with their daughters as well, and dealing with their wives, and mothers dealing with their children. But as we look at Proverbs, we see, for example, in chapter one and verse eight, "Hear, my son your father's instruction." Chapter two, verse one, "My son, if you will receive my words and treasure my commandments within you." I mean already you can see this is a father that is concerned about the well-being of his son. Chapter four, verse one, "Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father, and give attention that you may gain understanding, for I give you sound teaching; do not abandon my instruction." Boy, this is reminiscent of my father talking with me. By God's grace, I had a godly father, and some of you know what that is like with your own dads. Chapter five, verse one, "My son, give attention to my wisdom, incline your ear to my understanding." Chapter six, verse 20, "My son, observe the commandment of your father."

Now, as we look at Proverbs, I mean, there's a massive amount of instruction here designed to exhort us, to equip us, to encourage, especially godly fathers; and I might add, to help young ladies know what type of husband they need to look for and also encourage wives to be able to encourage their husbands. But I would also add, as we look at some of these passages, this will help show all of us what fatherless boys are missing and what they so desperately need, and perhaps what we can bring to help. And I wish to focus on two fundamental truths every father should embrace and teach their sons. Number one, teach them to fear the Lord by pursuing wisdom, and secondly, to trust the Lord by pursuing obedience. And I pray that you will take heed to the word of the Lord this morning.

First of all, under the heading "Fear the Lord by Pursuing Wisdom," you're going to see the word wisdom used all throughout the book of Proverbs. It refers to the kind of knowledge that produces righteous, godly conduct that God is going to bless, and that's what we want for our children. Chapter two, verse one, he says,

"My son, if you will receive my words and treasure my commandments within you,

"Make your ear attentive to wisdom, incline your heart to understanding;

"for if you cry for discernment, lift your voice for understanding;

"if you seek her as silver and search for her as for hidden treasures..."

"...then you will know how to throw a baseball." Doesn't say that does it? "Then you will know how to shoot a gun," "then you will know how to catch a fish," "then you will know how to play a guitar." All those things are wonderful, but folks, that's not the priority of fatherhood. He says,

"...then you will discern the fear of the LORD and discover the knowledge of God.

"For the LORD gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding."

Fathers, if you want to raise your son in such a way that when he grows older, his character will be as shallow as water on a plate, then just spend your life teaching him things that are trivial, that are eternally inconsequential. They might be good and wonderful in many ways, but they are not to teach him to fear the Lord, to discover the knowledge of God.

I was listening to a college football coach, it's college football season as you know, and it's interesting to hear them talk. They all kind of say the same things about what they're trying to teach their young men. They're trying to teach them, obviously, the football skills and strategy and the plays that they're going to run, and principles of teamwork and hard work, you know, discipline and all that. But also, you will hear them talk about how they really want to teach them life skills, and this is good. Things like leadership, responsibility, strong character, positive attitude. But what is missing, and obviously so -   I'm just using this as an example for contrast - what is missing is a coach that wants to teach them to discern the fear of the Lord and discover the knowledge of God. But fathers, this is what we are all about. This is our responsibility, and we should teach every young man to pursue these things. We're going to see this as we unpack some of these passages. The young men need to "cry for discernment," "seek wisdom as silver" and "search for her as for hidden treasures." And why is that? So that they can "discern the fear of the LORD and discover the knowledge of God."

It's interesting, in this passage, you see there are three things described in four simple verses - three things we must do - number one, in verses one and two, the son must receive. "Receive my words and treasure my commandments within you." This conveys the idea of receiving that which is given to you and putting it within the treasury, or the storehouse, or the vault of your heart and your mind where you where you hide things that are precious - the great truths, the great wisdom of God - or maybe in our vernacular today, you need to receive these things so that you can put it on the hard drive that receives and stores data. I'm not much of a computer guy, but I think I'm getting my point across to you. Psalm 119, verse 11, "Thy word I have treasured in my heart that I may not sin against Thee." In other words, I am going to treasure the word that I receive, and I'm going to embed it so deeply within the core of my being that no one can take it away from me; and I'm going to receive that, Lord willing, from a godly father and other godly people that the Lord has brought into my life.

But not only must we receive it, we must pray for it in verse three. Notice, "For if you cry for discernment." "Cry", here, in the original language, means "to shout" or "to scream loudly"; to cry out, to call out. If you cry for discernment, lift your voice for understanding. That's what much you must do. Fathers, is this consistent with your character? Young men, is this the passion of your heart? I hope that it is. Do you fall on your knees from time to time and cry out to the Lord in with a sense of utmost urgency. "Lord, help me to receive these great truths. I want discernment. I want understanding."

And then the third thing we must do in verse four is study. Receive, pray and study. Verse four, "If you seek her as silver and search for her as for hidden treasures." In other words, you study these things like you're going on a treasure hunt. That's the point. If I told you that a priceless treasure of an ancient king is buried on a parcel of your land, what would you do? You would go and search for it. That's the point here. Receive, pray and study, and when we do, I want you to notice the rewards beginning in verse five and also in verse six, "Then you will discern the fear of the LORD and discover the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding." Isn't it interesting once you notice that both the beginning of wisdom and the prize of wisdom is the fear of the Lord. How so? Well, because as you fear the Lord, as that increases, we gain more wisdom and we see more of who he is, and we fall on our face before him all the more. The more we fear him, the more wisdom we receive, and the more blessings we receive.

You see this idea of the "fear of the LORD" is so important for us to understand. Fathers, especially, you must understand this. If you're going to teach this to your sons you've got to know what it is, and it's got to be a part of who you are. The fear of the Lord might be described as just a life dominating awe of God that stems from a proper understanding of his glorious person and his works, his nature, his attributes; an understanding that he is the one, true and living God; the infinite, all knowing, all powerful spirit, perfect in all of his attributes. He is one in essence, eternally existing in three persons, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, each deserving of our worship and obedience. You need to teach your children this. They need to understand these things. Help them get lost in the person and the work of Christ. Help them to see that God is their Creator. He is the sustainer. He is the Redeemer. He is the consummator of all things. He is the thrice Holy God. He is infinitely other, infinitely set apart from sin. He is utterly transcendent, and yet he is also imminent, which means he is accessible to all. They need to understand what it means to say that God is sovereign, that he is omniscient, that he is omnipotent, that he is omnipresent, that he is immutable, that he is faithful, that he is full of grace and truth and compassionate and merciful; and yet he will also not allow sin to go unpunished because he is a God of judgment, a God of wrath, a God of vengeance upon the wicked.

You see a proper understanding of the attributes and the purposes of God in redemption - the redemption of sinners - and the restoration of His kingdom on earth, these are the things that motivates us to worship him. On Sunday morning, fathers, if you have to say, "Boy, I don't know, I don't really want to come to church." What is wrong with you? You do not fear the Lord. You should be able to say, "Lord, I cannot wait to come and worship you. My heart is craving for the glory and the greatness of Your presence. I want to hear from your word." Because when you really fear the LORD, that is what is going to motivate you to kill sin in your life. That's going to motivate you to persevere when everything seems to be lost. That's what's going to drive you to evangelism. That's what's going to cause a love for his word and a desire to be obedient to it. That's what's going to animate a heart that wants to commune with him in prayer, to live for his glory, to long for his return. This is why Paul would say in Second Corinthians seven, verse one, "Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in," what? "the fear of God." Fathers? Do you fear the Lord? Are you teaching these things to your sons and to your daughters and to your wife. And sons, do you fear the Lord? Do you pursue them? Are you open to them? Will you receive them, even what you're hearing today? Will you receive these truths, as God speaks through his servant? Do you cry out for them? Do you study them? Can you say with the Apostle Paul that "I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." Oh, dear fathers, there is no higher form of worship, nor is there any greater source of joy than contemplating the infinite perfections of the person and the work of the Lord Jesus Christ. This is what we must teach our sons, to fear the Lord by pursuing wisdom. And I might add, this is what fatherless boys are missing.

So first, we must teach them to fear the Lord by pursuing wisdom. Secondly, we must teach them to trust the Lord by pursuing obedience. Now I'm going to give you something technical here for a moment, and I think it's on the on the screen. Proverbs three, verses one through 12 forms a unit of thought with a clear progression.

Verse one bids the son to memorize the father's teaching.

Verse two, there's a promise of life and peace.

Verse three, urges the son not to let steadfast love and truth forsake him.

Verse four, promises that this is central to finding favor with God and man.

And then comes that passage that we're all familiar with, that we all learned as children in Proverbs three, beginning in verse five, "Trust in the LORD." The term "trust" in the original language means to lie helplessly, face down in humility and submission. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean," - the term refers to supporting yourself; do not support yourself, d not depend on, do not rely on - "...your own understanding," because your own understanding is flawed, "but in all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight."

Now this is often misunderstood. Many times, people think this means, well, I just need to trust in the Lord with the deepest conviction I can possibly muster, my confidence is in God, and I don't want to analyze things with my own mind. I just have to keep acknowledging or recognizing God in every area of my life, and when I do all of this, he's just going to kind of take over every situation and make it all work out. That's not what the text is saying. What Solomon is saying here, under the inspiration of the Scripture, is this, do not lean on mere human understanding, but trust God enough to study and to learn and depend upon his revealed understanding in his Word, which I am teaching you in this book. That's the whole context here. Proverbs 16:20, "He who gives attention to the word shall find good, and blessed is he who trusts in the LORD."

So we must ask the question, "Whose understanding rules your life?" Is it the understanding of the Lord? Is it your own wisdom? If it is the Lord, then you're going to wholeheartedly trust in his divine revelation. That's what's going to shape your attitudes. That's what's going to instruct your mind to help you make godly decisions. You know, "How would God have me do this thing?" "What would God have me do to honor him in this particular situation?" Look closely at verse six. "In all your ways." You could translate that: in all of your journeys in life, all of your actions, your pursuits, your conduct, your undertakings. "In all your ways acknowledge Him." In other words, take notice of him. Seek his wise instruction, commune with him in prayer, acknowledge his sovereign reign over your life. In fact, I think of Proverbs 16, verse three, "Commit your works to the LORD and your plans will be established." In other words, trust and submit to his will, and he will fulfill your righteous plans. That's the idea. The same thing, Psalm 37 verse five, "Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He will do it." The word "commit" is interesting. It literally means "to cast" or "to roll onto the Lord," and roll away from the feelings of anger, resentment, or whatever else it might be, jealousy and so forth, in that context. Commit your way. In other words, the entirety of your life, all of your passions, roll all of those things onto him. Let that be a determined choice, and then notice the result in verse six, "...and He will make your path straight."

Now, practically, what does this mean? "He will make your path straight." Well, first of all, think about this, what's the opposite of straight? Crooked, right? And what do we see all through Solomon's writings? Contrast. Contrast. He speaks of the wise versus the fool. He speaks of wisdom, and he speaks of folly. Speaks of the righteous versus the wicked. And here we have another contrast. He speaks of the straight versus the crooked, which is implied. The crooked - that which is twisted, that which is perverse, perverted. It means to be unprincipled, out of line with God, contrary to his word and to his will. So he's saying here in verse five, if I can kind of paraphrase this, it says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart..." In other words, study, labor to understand, memorize, put it into practice all the words of God, commit all that you are to the grace and the truth of God, and abandon every attempt to attain blessing on your own strength and on your own wisdom, "...and do not lean on your own understanding." In other words, don't depend upon human understanding, but trust God enough to study his word, to lean on it - his revealed word that I'm teaching you in this book - and then verse six, "In all your ways, acknowledge Him," in other words, in all of your undertakings, take notice of him; seek his will, "....and He will make your path straight." In other words, God himself will cause you to live a life that is more morally and spiritually straight, as opposed to that which is crooked and contrary to his word and to his will.

Now, Solomon gives numerous examples of what fathers must teach sons, I'm going to give you five. There are so many. I've picked five here that, and you read almost any commentary, and you'll see elements of all of these things, but the first one, fathers, I want to make this real practical. You got to teach your son to obey his parents. That's where you're going to have to start. Proverbs one verse eight, "Hear, my son, your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching." Now sadly, most children receive no wise instruction from their fathers. They've received no biblical teaching from their mothers. They're raised by social media, by Hollywood, by pagan schoolteachers or ungodly, foolish peers. Dads, we got to change that. We have to teach our children to obey. Paul said in Ephesians, six, verse one, "Children obey your parents in the Lord." That means as to the Lord. In other words, God has delegated parents to be his authority in the life of that child. Children, you need to understand that here, "...for this is right." It says,

"Honor your father and your mother (which is the first commandment with promise), so that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.

"Fathers do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

Again teach them to obey their parents the authority that God has placed over them. Proverbs, three, verse 11, "My son, do not reject the discipline of the LORD or loathe His reproof, for whom the LORD loves He reproves, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights." If you really love your son, you will discipline him. Hebrews speaks to that, Hebrews 12, verse nine, "We had earthly fathers," it says, "...to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He [God] disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness." And he adds this, "All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful, yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness."

Now, folks, this is foreign to children unless you teach them, and I'd add it's foreign to most adults. When kids are little, you have to use physical discipline when they are defiant. I'll speak more on that in a moment. And as they get older, you withdraw privileges, you increase responsibility. But we read, for example, in Proverbs 10 and verse 13, "On the lips of the discerning, wisdom is found, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks understanding." I can see my picture there, and many occasions where I lacked understanding and I needed an attitude adjustment; and my father, in particular, was always there to make sure that happened. That was not always a pleasurable experience. Proverbs 22, verse 15, "Foolishness is bound up..." literally means it's an inseparable part of one's nature. Foolishness - which by the way, foolishness is, I can only be happy if I have my own way, and nobody's going to tell me what to do - That's what's "bound up in the heart" of your child. That's part of his or her nature. But it says, "The rod of discipline will remove it far from him."

Fathers, you must understand that your precious little babies are not just innocent little cherubs. They are little fools who will demand their own way, and they will rebel against you and against God. This is inborn, innate folly, and it will destroy them if left unchecked. Proverbs 29 verse 15, "The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother." And my how I have seen that played out over the years. Little Thurlow just absolutely dominates the whole family. A child centered home. You've got to be careful, or you'll upset Thurlow, and he'll throw a tantrum, and Mom will be embarrassed.

Then you have the Walmart discipline, you know, the mother counts to 3, 37 times, you know, and then then finally, gives the child what the child wants. All the tantrums, all the defiance. People have asked me over the years, and by the way, we were not perfect parents, but one thing I will say is when people say, "What did you do when your child would throw tantrums or hit you or or say no to you," or those types of things? I have to say, in all honesty, that probably happened but only once, and they learned very quickly the meaning of benevolent authority. I love you too much for you to ever do that again. You must abandon that from your program, or you will experience something very painful. By the way, for us, it started on the changing table. You know, you start to change the diapers, and they start doing all that. A good pop on the leg, and they scream like you just cut their leg off and they look at you, and then you reach down and you love them, and you kiss them, and then within 15 seconds they're smiling, and all is well. But that child just learned, don't defy daddy. There is benevolent authority. I need to remove that whole back arching stuff from my program. It's not going to work.

I remember, I don't want to give it off on too many stories, but I can remember, especially one in particular, my dad allowed me to sit with some of the boys, and he gave me instructions on how you were to behave with some of the boys in church. Well, one of the boys made an obscene noise, let me put it that way. And you know how little boys can be and I got tickled, and I'm sure I was doing something and giggling, carrying on. All of a sudden, I remember my dad grabbing my ear. That was one way he would get my attention. And I remember him pulling him up to me, and water squirting out of my eyes, and I'll never forget to this day what he told me, "Either you straighten up or I'm going to take you into the bathroom, and I am going to spank your fanny." That's all it took. I was done. I straightened up. And you know why I straightened up? Not because I didn't want to experience the pain of a spanking, but I straightened up because I loved my dad. I didn't want to disappoint my dad, because I understood benevolent authority. Folks, this is what discipline is all about. You've got to teach your children that there are consequences to their behavior. You say, "Well, you know, I've spanked my child," or "I've done this or that, and it just doesn't work." Well, let me ask a parent, if you say that, how many times does a child have to grab a hold of a wasp in order to understand that you better not do that anymore. One time, one sting, and he's got a PhD in wasp, right? Why is that? Because it hurts like the dickens, and so I'm not going to do that anymore.

Well enough of that, we've got to teach our kids to obey their parents. Secondly, you got to teach them to guard their heart. All of this overlaps, doesn't it? Chapter four, verse 23 "Watch your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life." Oh, fathers, you've got to teach your sons this. What is it that's influencing your child's mind? You've got to filter out all of the filth and the lies of the world, and you've got to fill their mind with the sanctifying truths of the Word of God. I read that authorities discovered that the 29-year-old left wing extremist that opened fire on an ICE facility in Dallas last week, spent 17,500 hours playing violent video games. Folks, garbage in, garbage out. Proverbs two verse 10, "For wisdom will enter your heart and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul; discretion will guard you, understanding will watch over you, to deliver you from the way of evil, from the man who speaks perverse things." That is, vulgar, hateful speech like that of the ICE protesters, and some of the politicians that use this horrible vulgar language. I think of what Jesus said in Matthew 15:11, but the things that, "...proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man....For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders..." Whenever you hear a vulgarian and you hear all of the cursing, you know that that's what's going on in the heart. Dads, we've got to take advantage of every teachable moment to shepherd the heart of our children, to show them how a godly man thinks, how a godly man talks, how a godly man acts, how a godly man dresses, how a godly man loves his wife and his children. Model godliness.

Interesting, Solomon makes reference to his father, David, in Proverbs 4:4, he said, "Then he," referring to David, "taught me and said to me," quote, "'Let your heart hold fast my words; keep my commandments and live; acquire wisdom! acquire understanding! Do not forget nor turn away from the words of my mouth.'" I can see that, again, with my dad; with him sometimes taking me by the shoulders and getting in my face, that really would get my attention. Teach this to your children. Teach them to guard their heart. Folks, this is the stuff of authentic, godly fatherhood.

Thirdly, teach him how to choose his friends wisely. Boy, don't we all have illustrations in our life when we got in with the wrong crowd and where that led us. Proverbs, one, verse 10, "My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent." We read that earlier. Verse 15 and 16, "My son, do not walk in the way with them. Keep your feet from their path, for their feet run to evil, and they hasten to shed blood." We could spend time in Psalm one. It speaks to all of that. You know, kids are so vulnerable to peer pressure. I mean, just look, they have to wear the same clothes and the same hairstyles. And, you know, monkey see, monkey do. I was a part of that. So were you. They want to be accepted, they want to be valued, they want to be affirmed, and the wrong crowds will seduce them and give them that acceptance. That's what gangs are all about, and kids lack discernment. Dads, we've got to be there to instruct them, to protect them. Proverbs 13, verse 20, "He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm." Well, a little leaven will leaven the whole lump. This is why Paul said in First Corinthians 15:33, "Do not be deceived: 'Bad company corrupts good morals.'" Teach your children how to choose their friends wisely. Be a parent. Don't be a peer.

Many times I can remember with my kids where I had to set them down and say, "Look, you're running with so and so, and so and so. That has to stop. Let me tell you why and let me tell you that either you put a stop to it, or I will take you and go with you, and I will put a stop to it, but it's going to stop." Proverbs two, verse 11,

"Discretion will guard you,  understanding will watch over you,

"To deliver you from the evil way, from the man who speaks perverse things;

"From those who leave the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness;

"Who delight in doing evil and rejoice in the perversity of evil;

"Whose paths are crooked, and who are devious in their ways;

"to deliver you from,"

Oh, here it is,

"The strange woman, from the adulteress, who flatters with her words."

This leads me to the fourth area that we have to teach our sons. Dads, you've got to teach your sons to pursue sexual purity. Young men have a 90 gland in 100-pound body when they're 13 years old. Every man in here knows what I'm talking about. According to Covenant Eyes, which is an internet accountability organization, 61% of the general population report viewing pornography. 78% of men watch it, 44% of women. And the data reveals that most teens are watching pornography. They gave some alarming statistics. 73% of teens have consumed pornography. 45% of teens believe that pornography gives helpful information about sex. The average age of first exposure to pornography is 12 years old. 57% of teens have not discussed pornography with a trusted adult. 52% of teens have seen violent pornography. 38% of teens said they had viewed pornography on social media within the past year. Children exposed to pornography are more than three times as likely to engage in problematic sexual behavior.

Let me just read a little of what the father says to the son, here in Proverbs five,

1 My son, give attention to my wisdom,
Incline your ear to my understanding;

2 That you may observe discretion
And your lips may reserve knowledge.

3 For the lips of an adulteress drip honey
And smoother than oil is her speech;

4 But in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
Sharp as a two-edged sword.

5 Her feet go down to death,
Her steps take hold of Sheol.

6 She does not ponder the path of life;
Her ways are unstable, she does not know it.

7 Now then, my sons, listen to me
And do not depart from the words of my mouth.

8 Keep your way far from her
And do not go near the door of her house,

9 Or you will give your vigor to others
And your years to the cruel one;

10 And strangers will be filled with your strength
And your hard-earned goods will go to the house of an alien;

11 And you groan at your final end,
When your flesh and your body are consumed;

12 And you say, “How I have hated instruction!
And my heart spurned reproof!

13 I have not listened to the voice of my teachers,
Nor inclined my ear to my instructors!

14 I was almost in utter ruin
In the midst of the assembly and congregation.”

15 Drink water from your own cistern
And fresh water from your own well.

16 Should your springs be dispersed abroad,
Streams of water in the streets?

17 Let them be yours alone
And not for strangers with you.

18 Let your fountain be blessed,
And rejoice in the wife of your youth.

19 As a loving hind and a graceful doe,
Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
Be exhilarated always with her love.

20 For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress
And embrace the bosom of a foreigner?

21 For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord,
And He watches all his paths.

22 His own iniquities will capture the wicked,
And he will be held with the cords of his sin.

23 He will die for lack of instruction,
And in the greatness of his folly he will go astray.

I won't take time, but chapter seven is devoted to the same thing. It speaks of the naive, the undiscerning youths that lack sense, who were seduced by an immoral woman. And in verse 22 it says, "Suddenly he follows her as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as one in fetters to the discipline of a fool, until an arrow pierces through his liver; as a bird hastens to the snare, so he does not know what it will that it will cost him his life." Fathers warn them about the wickedness of spring break and the wickedness of all the stuff that's on social media and on television. Teach them the beauty and the blessing of loving your own wife and what a godly wife is; to drink from your own cistern and help them to understand what to look for in a wife. First Peter three, beginning in verse three, here it is, "Your adornment must not be merely external - braiding the hair and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God."

Well, finally, as we draw this to a close this morning, teach them the value of hard work. I think any parent, I should say every parent, would agree with me that our children, by nature, are lazy. Sometimes they are as lazy as a three toed sloth on Nyquil PM. I mean, they just won't do anything. They would just watch TV and play video games and eat Cheetos off their chest and drink Pepsi until they die. Dads, we've got to help them with this. Proverbs, six speaks of this. And before I read that, I want to tell you what my dad did. I remember my dad bought me an ant farm. You ever seen those little ant farms, the little plastic farms, and you got sand in it, and the ants are doing all this stuff? It's absolutely fascinating. I remember he bought that for me, got it all set up, and I was watching that, for, I don't know, probably a week or so, at least. And then I remember him sitting down with me and reading this passage of Scripture to teach me the value of hard work. Proverbs six, beginning in verse six,

"Go to the ant, O sluggard,

"Observe her ways and be wise,

"Which, having no chief officer or ruler,

"Prepares her food in the summer and gathers her provision in the harvest.

"How long will you lie down O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep?

"'A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest' -

"Your poverty will come in like a vagabond and you your need like an armed man."

Teach your children the value of hard work. Again, I remember vividly one night, we would always eat supper together, almost always, and we had a table, my sister and me would have a place. Mom and Dad and I came in for dinner, and I looked and there wasn't a place setting for me. So I immediately, being as wise and discerning as I am, realized that there was an issue, and my dad said to me, "Son, didn't your mom ask you...?" And he named some stuff that I was supposed to do. "Yeah, and I'm going to do it after supper." Too late. You know, in our family, it wasn't three strikes you're out. It's one strike and you're out. In fact, a lot of times if you look like you're going to strike you're out. And so my dad said, "Well, you need to learn a hard lesson. You're going to go to bed without dinner tonight, because around here, if you don't work, you don't eat." Isn't it funny? I am 73 years old, and I remember that as vividly as if it happened yesterday. Teach your children the value of hard work.

Well, I hope this will challenge each of us as fathers to examine our own heart, to make these things a priority in our life, and challenge all of you men to just at least consider - in some way - maybe you can't mentor a fatherless boy. Maybe you can be a part of the ministry in some other way. But get serious about this issue, and I pray that all of us will humble our hearts to the great truths of Scripture, because certainly, the lash falls on all our backs, does it not? Let's pray together.

Father, thank you for the power of your word, for its clarity, for the way it confronts who we really are. And I pray that by the power of the Spirit, we will all take heed to what we have heard this morning, and that our lives will be changed because of it, and that we will be better fathers, better mothers, better sons, better daughters, and certainly better ministers of the gospel. I ask all of this in the precious name of Jesus and for his sake, Amen.